The Mad World of Me

Well it's been a while!!

2007-04-13T17:50:00.000+02:00

Again!

Over a month since my last blog entry here (I do have another blog on a site I visit.... have to admit I don't update that much more often either!).

It's been a really busy time for me both at work and home so no guilt issues here. I've barely been on the home PC for weeks. I've even been on vacation this week and have barely used the PC other than to sign in to Scrapitudes to check whats going on.

The best bit of my month has to have been getting a new camera! My wonderful Kodak! It's not a full SLR but it's got manual options , which of course I've not yet figured out, or read the manual. I've been getting some great results, which have been pushing me to scrap more, saying that I'm still scrapping slowly, but at least I'm scrapping.

Well off to do some more housework before hubby gets home from work.

here are a couple of my recent photos.

I must be getting better at this web lark!

2007-03-08T00:44:00.000+01:00

I actually managed to create and add a lideshow of photos!! bit of a miracle for a web numbskul like me!

All on my own....

2007-03-04T14:16:00.000+01:00

Well after two weeks off work... one sick and one on vacation.... I have to go back tomorrow. I don't know what to expect but I'm not hoping for much! In fact I'm kind of dreading it. Oh well my motivation has taken a big knock, but I'll just hope everything has blown over and that I'll be able to get on with work as if nothing had ever been said (fat chance i know but a girl can dream!).

On other stuff Greg and Ross went to the UK yesterday so I now have the house all to myself for the first time in years! it's such a strange feeling, especially at night. I had a really hard time sleeping last night and today feels really strange knowing that I've no deadlines... lunch... dinner... bath...bedtime etc!

So much for ZEN attitude!

2007-02-18T09:51:00.000+01:00

Yup you guessed it I've been wide awake since 5am with a not in my stomach, and thoughts of work pouring through my mind again!

Thank goodness we are going out for lunch, maby some conversation with others will help me get over this, otherwise I fear I will have a spectacular blow out tomorrow at work!

Anyways something completely different... my current fav layout is....................

Calming down and looking forward.....

2007-02-18T00:05:00.000+01:00

Well I did'nt sleep much last night. I even asked the girls on Scrapitude if i should remove my Blog post. Am I really that unsure of myself?

Thankfully the ladies on the board make good sence. (thanks ladies, you know who you are). I am probably not as out and out mad as last night but I have to admit it still irks me when i think about it, and i have to admit that has still been pretty often today! All in All I'm almost back to my zen attitude, hubby & Ross do not seem concerned so it must not be sowing too much.

Today was a bit of a nothing day, It was beautifully sunny outside and felt like a spring day rather than mid february. Ross had yet another Birthday party to go to this afternoon. When I looked up the adress I realised it was at the other end of the town.. so how to get him there with no car and no pblic transport???? We cycled! It is so great that he is finally old enough to cycle beside me, rather than need the cycle seat (which honestly I could never manage, so it was always on hubbys bike). he was a bit puffed by the time we arrived but all was soon forgotten in the party madness. I almost raced home, it was just so nice to be cycling again.

Once Hubby came home from meeting a couple of friends at Disney we had a nice quiet afternoon together, then both cycled back to pick Ross up. All together a nice restful day of not doing much of anything special.

Looking forward? Well yes, but not necessarily on the work front. A lot of personal stuff will be happening in the next few weeks so I honestly want to concentrate on that, to the point that when my boss called me on my mobile today (to ask directions to a shop of all things), he asked how work was yesterday...... and I just said I would see him monday, have a good weekend ... and left it at that! What's the point hashing over stuff on the telephone when you can't do anything about it anyways until Monday? Yup I'm working on the zen thing again!

Well Blow me but I think I'm going to scream!

2007-02-17T01:01:00.000+01:00

Well today was just a nightmare, to be fair the entire week has been one waiting to happen!

I need to write this and if it offends anyone tough luck!

Some folks really Pi-- me off!

OK so why you ask? Simply put you really can't please everyone, especially at work! I've been trying to hand over part of my job to someone who has just come back from maternity leave.... well I knew she was not happy with taking over the particular job, but it seems she is determined to make my life miserable with it!

If you don't agree with my way of doing things, just tell me to my face.... if you want to change stuff do it or check your ideas with the boss.... if you want me to step out completely have the guts to tell me.... basically DO NOT GO CRYING TO EVERYONE ELSE. DO NOT BLACKEN MY NAME WITH OUR OTHER COLLEGUES.

I think anyone reading this has already guessed that all is not well huh! Tonight was the last straw when I was verbally attatcked by one of the folks I thought had more sence than get involved. Well was I ever wrong!

I'm sorry folks think i'm stepping on their toes, but honestly I'm following the orders set out by our boss. When he says jump I jump.... it may not be to everyones taste but i've learned from bitter experience that for me not to have a miserable life i have to take care of myself, not necessarily get involved in everyone else's gripes with the boss. I've had more downs than ups in the last few years, so honestly folks I can understand better than most your frustrations, but at the same time realise that I can only do so much, and it does not include babysitting everyones feelings.

As I explained (or so i thought) I have handed over certain tasks straight away, but for others I've been told to keep involved as i've been in the project for two years which is only just "going live", hence I have a certain historical knowledge of decisions made. Once the flaming thing is working perfectly (or as near as any computer system ever does..), my replacement can have it all, until then it's just plain common sence that I stay involved.

So what am i really saying??

1. its not personal
2. i'm not empire building
3. I don't want work to be a nightmare
4. let's just try to get through this thing withought strangling anyone.....

Yes it's a lot of I, well hell this is my Blog and I'll say what I want.

Oh and for anyone who cares I'm still not scrapping, but I have started to do jigsaws again... My patience needs work at the moment!

Well it seems the Blog bug is back.

2007-02-07T23:51:00.000+01:00

After finally posting an entry last night (or should that be this morning?? after all it was after midnight!), I thought a lot about what i wrote today.

It felt really good just to put the words down, so maby I should start doing this a bit more often again. Strange how basically writing to knowone in particular can help clear your head.

So anyway we'll see how it goes over the next few days/weeks. Who knows maby the bug really has bitten again.

Does being content make me wrong?

2007-02-07T00:20:00.000+01:00

A "Friend" told me today that I had lost my way..... basically what she was saying was that since I consider myself "happy, and content with my life", I have lost all my drive and ambition.

In a way she is right. I'm not driven by my career, I don't want to move jobs to get a promotion, more money ...whatever. I like being where I am (big change from a year ago!!), I find my job a challenge and I don't dread going to work each morning..

Most of all I am VERY happy with my life. I love my Husband deeply, have a fabulous little boy who never ceases to amaze me and a lifestyle which may not be filled with luxuries, but is certainly not on the breadline either.

So what I basically want to know is..... Is it so bad to consider you do not always need more?

I don't deny that there are frustrations in my life, I don't deny that I sometimes crave new challenges, A bit more cash would never hurt.... and yes I would love to be able to do some of the things I did when I was single (holidays abroad, lovely clothes, Go out more often, etc...), but at the same time the joy of my family and the challenges I find at work are sufficient to make me smile each day and not hate living. I honestly think that is fine for now.

Have I lost my way, just because my priorities have changed and I have settled for somethng a little more realistic than my dreams? I have to answer honestly I don't think so.

Well Well.... Its January already!!

2007-01-02T19:18:00.000+01:00

Happy NEW YEAR

Yup I've been missing again!! Its been a really busy December both at work and at home. We passed a wonderful Christmas and a fairly quiet New years.

Generally I need to get myself organised. I have made some fairly majour decisions, like taking back over the family finances, which will be effecting how much time I have to spend on other projects. I guess I will have to be doing a lot of juggling to get everything covered.

Ross has had another wonderful term at School and really is progressing well. He is insisting on writing everything for himself, therefore Christmas cards took ages, but were a lot of fun!! It amazes me that at 4 1/2 he is writing and starting to read. I know I was reading at 5 1/2 so my Mum must have really worked a lot with me too. Oh and as you can see he is growing in leaps and bounds too.

Scrapping wise I've not been doing a lot as I've a) been too busy and b) just not been in the mood. I would like to think I will get at least one LO done per week, but am seriously thinking of changing to a smaller format than 12 x 12 for most of my LOs. I have already done a lot of rectangular stuff and have to admit I find this much easier for the single photo LOs.

Well off now, hopefully I'll be a bit better at keeping this thing updated this year.

TFL.

Where did October go?

2006-11-03T10:54:00.000+01:00

Just logged in and realised my last post was on October 1st! What the heck happened to last month??

Well I guess i know, basically it passed in a blur of business and madness. New stuff at work has meant that I've not gotten very much accomplished and seem to have spent the entire time just trying to stay above water.

Scrap wise I scrapped like a mad thing during the Scrapitudes Cyber Crop and produced more LOs and stuff than I've done in the last few months stuck together. Other than the Cyber Crop it's been a pretty lean patch for me, except for one LO which I think is soooooooooooo my best ever. The problem being it's got a metalic frame so scans rubbish, oh and as usual the sticky letters decide to be non sticky and I've had to re-stick stuff.

I kow it's not "fashionable", or "distressed" or "Flowery".....or....or.....or...... BUT it is so my style! Think I just need to accept that I will always do what I want and ignore all fashions!

We are doing a Christmas advent swap on Scrapitude and I received the name of my swapee, it's going to be tough as I always find it difficult to shop for someone I've never met. I also am pretty cash strapped (again!) so have to be a bit careful with the spending, I guess loads of immagination is called for here!

Well off to take Ross to the doc, he had a pretty bad night and I know he's sick by the simple fact I can't get him to eat or drink. He's norlmally asking for breakfast as soon as he wakes up.... oh but not today!

SJs Sunday Bloggers prompt....

2006-10-01T21:31:00.000+02:00

list 5 things that you hate.......

Ok so that should not be a problem, more of a problem to pick hust 5 as i can be pretty negative and have LOADS of pet peeves!

5. Bad humour. you know the stuff that is just plain dumb! We got BBC Prime to expose Ross to some decent British TV....... all was ok until they started showing 6 episodes (I mean who really wants to watch 3 hours of the same thing???) of some drivel called "the cumars at something or other..." Is this honestly the best British TV has to offer newadays? If yes I'm soooooooo glad I'm not living over there anymore.

4. Drivers who forget what it's like to actually walk anywhere. You know the kind who don't know what an indicator is, understand what a cross walk is for.... oh and have no idea that parking right in front of a crossing in a HUGE 4x4 is likely to make it impossible to see oncoming traffic.

3. People who hate their job, the company they work for, yet insist on staying on and moaning morning, noon and night to all those forced to be around them. GET A LIFE, CHANGE JOBS.... DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE SITUATION! I realise it's always hard to change, but if you hate it so much, TRY! (can you tell I've got a couple of these folks in my team at work?).

2. Call centers. I think most folks hate these. The worst have got to be the banks, you know the calls trying to get you to take out new services, change accounts, move banks, have extra insurance, pensions......... Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. these people drive me batty, especially as they always manage to call at dinner time.

1. Parent who let their kids run riot in shops and restuarants. I aint saying my little one is perfect but he soooooooooo knows whats going to happen if her runs mad or shouts, or generally mis behaves in these places. It's rude, irresponsible and down right dangerous (as an ex restuarant employee I can attest to so many horrible accidents, think tomato soup all over wedding guest, type thing!!).

In stress hell...............................

2006-09-24T00:25:00.000+02:00

It's been a horrible day!

Firstly Ross woke up in the middle of the night screaming, which is really unusual for him. Took ages to calm down and go back to sleep. I woke up again at 7am and decided i could have another hour, and anyways Ross was sure to wake me up!

9.35am i looked at the clock and frieked as I was supposed to be at a school meeting at 9.30! Where was my usual wake up call from Ross?? He was being a perfect angel and playing quietly in his room with his lego! on the one morning I was counting on him coming through demmanding breakfast!

10am telephone rings, it's Ross' godparents saying they will be here in 10 mins to drop off an anniversary pressie! i had to rudely wake hubby..... started his day in a total grump mood.

After they left I thought we would go get the shoping done, ah how wrong could i be! By this time Hubby is in a total mood and all he wants to do is sleep. I finally managed to get everyone fed at lunchtime and peeled away from the TV at 3pm! only to get to the supermarket to find them out of stock on loads of stuff...... Now I'll somehow need to get major shopping between leaving work at 6pm and picking Ross up at 6.45pm on monday (that's gonna take a miracle as I travel 35mins)!

Well after we got home Hubby is still in a rubbish mood (I know he's stressing about monday), and spends the next few hours moaning and yelling at Ross for minor stuff. I swear i'm fed up of the nit picking sometimes. i understand his upbringing was different from mine, but I'm afraid I just can't get with the heavy handed attitude over clearing plates at dinner etc. (I have to admit I also don't agree with it, and to an extent blame it for greg being overweight!).

OK gripe over, it's well after midnight and i'm going to try to get some sleep. hubby is working tomorrow so maby i'll get some scrapping done to calm me down a little.

TTFN. Oh and thanks for reading the drivel!

Getting a little stressed now....

2006-09-22T17:30:00.000+02:00

I've not been blogging much recently about what's been going on in my private life, mainlt because its a bit hectic and more than a little scary.

Earlier this week hubby had a visit at the hospital to be evaluated for possible stomack surgery to help him loose weight. After he was weighed and measured from every possible angle the doc considers that he needs to loose between 50 - 60kilos. That seems like a huge ammount to me. I know he's big but honestly I'm not sure that are taking into account how broad he is. I've seen photos of him as a kid and he has always had the most huge shoulders!

Of course this visit was only a first step, now he has loads of tests to do and xrays, and scans, and specialist visits, and nutritionalists, and, and, and.....

Next Monday he is going into Hospital to have a procedure to see if he has any apparent blockages into/out of his heart. If he does they will put in place one or more stents to open the arteries. We have both been pretty calm about this on the surface but I can be honest here and say that inside I am absolutely petrified. He has had so many health problems and is allergic to iodine which they use in the op! I'm just frieked that something could go wrong.

It's strange how you suddenly realise how hard it would be to cope on your own. I've no family here, and no-one to lean on in a real sence. Our best friends here live quite a distance a way, there is no sence of "community" where we live, and my work collegues are not the type of people I would easily ask for help from. In a way I'm realising just how isolated I am.

Well here is where I stop whining and admit that I will either be blogging a lot in the coming weeks to vent the rubbish, or I'll be dissapearing totally into my little mad world, so if I'm up to it I may be crying on your shoulder, and if I'm not I'll come back when the cloud clears.

Finally in the mood to scrap

2006-09-16T09:31:00.000+02:00

After quite some time where I've been scrapping intermittently I'm actually inspired to get moving again. It could also be due to the fact that I've finally bought new printer ink and new photo paper!......

This week I received an order from Scrapitude with some gorgeous new papers. Once I opened the box I was surprised to see that I had unconciously ordered loads of papers which are autumn tones. it could be due to this that my scrap urge is back. i love the papers and the colours and the patterns.....and....and.

Anyways I finished the first LO using the papers last night, and I think it may even be my new fav (told you it changed daily!!).Oh and I also did a digi to send to my mum!

Late I know!

2006-09-15T17:55:00.000+02:00

Last Sundays Sunday Blogger challenge on Scrapitude was to make an entry about your fav LO of someone else and your own personal Favourite LO.

Life kind of got in the way this week but here is a very brief post!!

I love this LO by Jae, in fact I love most of her LOs. They inspire me as they are always fresh and I can totally understand the feelings behind them. Jae is always true to herself in her scrapping and I like that. I love the lines, the layering, the subtle use of inking/chalking etc. Nothing ever feels too heavy or un necessary.

My own favourite LO changes from day to day so it's pretty hard for me to choos one. I may need to spend some time having a thorough look through my LOs again as I really can't put a finger on any one and say that it is truly my "favourite". I could always claim that my most recent is my fav, but that would not always be true either.

Well off to waffle some more elsewhere now. See ya!

Actually I take it back, I love this one. I'm in it which is really rare but something about it draws me to it very often.

What do I like about me????

2006-09-04T09:05:00.000+02:00

Truthfully? i'm not too sure.

Scrappyfairy challenged us to Blog about what we like about ourselfs, but I'm honestly finding it hard to think about this. I just spent some time reading the other ladies blogs and I am at least reassured that everyone finds this difficult.

I would have to say I like my personality, I like how I can deal with rubbish thrown at me from loads of different directions, how I've coped with work and stuff in general. I'm tough with a soft center (beleive it or not!!). Not everyone gets to see the soft side of me, a lot of folks only see the "mean manager", but basically cause they are outside of my team and don't actually "know" me.

I LIKE my life in general, we have cash worries, and future worries, and family worries..... but I still like where we are and what we are as a family, I consider that a success. I can't actually anme any physical attributes i like, or would not change if I had the cash or the willpower, but as i really don't beleive in all the physical beauty hype, what does that matter?

More vacation nightmares.

2006-08-10T23:15:00.000+02:00

Well could we have picked a worse time to fly?? We are supposed to fly out to my mum tomorrow to collect Ross, I sooooooooooo hope all is ok with the flights.

If for whatever reason the flight is cancelled how do you explain to a four year old that mummy & daddy can't come to get him after all? Especially considering he's so excited about seeing us (and I have to admit I am equally excited about seeing him!).

I guess this will be the last post for a while as I sooooooo don't intend to be on the PC much from Scotland. Not only is the PC over there an antique.... but honestly I have better ways to spend my days in Scotland! So hopefully here is to two weeks of reasonable weather and some fun and relaxation. back in a bit.

Ah crap....

2006-08-02T17:38:00.000+02:00

Why is it that something always goes wrong just before vacation??

1. At the weekend my mum THOUGHT she had her bag stolen..... she calls to let me know, knowing that she had a credit card in my name in the bag (which had to be cancelled from my French account), and the Credit Card statement for my british account, which meant I had to cancel my British card too!

The reason she had both is that she takes the money out of my French account (using French card) to pay my English account (who don't get the whole international banking thing, and have gone security nuts in the last couple of years!). Luckily she had not taken the cash out to actually pay the account yet!

Well of course two hours later she finds the bag, cards, statement and all buried under some linen in her caravan!! Of course by this time everything is cancelled, new statements are ordered etc.... oh and a late charge will of course be added to my UK account for late payment of the bill!!

2. Hubby gets his pay check and finds out he is down 250euros because of his last illness!

3. The tax department has "lost" our last payment for after school care, so now we have two months to pay in one go, and a check to cancel at our own cost.

What the Hell else can go wrong in the next 10 days?? I know I should not ask as something surely will! Wish me Luck!

Ahhhhhhhhh. Bl---y PC and whatever!

2006-07-25T20:23:00.000+02:00

Well I spent ages yesterday preparing a whole update to this thing and when I pushed PUBLISH........................... yup the PC decided to have an "off" moment! No idea what happened to my post, it just dissapeared into cyber hell.

It's still unbearably hot here and I'm really starting to suffer from lack of sleep. So much so that I almost fell asleep at my desk this afternoon. I think it's the air conditioning, I feel so nice and cool that my body just wants to curl up under the desk and rest in the nice fresh air. They are now predicting no real change in the weather for at least the next three weeks........ not sure I can cope much longer.

Work is really busy and I'm not getting much "me" time at home so I've got a problem with getting everything I want done. On a happy not the lounge/bedroom is looking great and hopefully the little one's room will son be looking good too. The heat even effects all of this as everything takes at least twice as long as planned.... work 15mins....rest 15 mins...... you get my meaning!

Pick me up and pour me out.......

2006-07-20T18:47:00.000+02:00

That is whatever is left of me after I turn into a greasy spot on the floor. We spend the entire winter wishing for Summer....... then when it arrives wish for rain! It's hot, it's sticky and I'm already fed up with it!!

Maby if I actually had a chance to to out and enjoy the sunshine I would feel differently. We have finally finished all the painting in the lounge/bedroom but that meant working through three days of incredible heat last weekend. I honestly feel like I havent stopped since the beginning of the month when I took the little one to Scotland.

I still can't really get to my scrap stuff and that is a major source of frustration too, so much so that I've taken a day off work tomorrow to advance my "tidying" just so I can get my scrap stuff accessible and get the table where I want it etc.

I've also realised I need help with my computer skills for the web stuff. I would love to be able to do things like embed links in my blog test, create links to other bloggers sites etc. I just can't seem to get the hang of it from the "help" menus. When I learned to attatch photos I got it really quick because a "real" person helped me, maby that's what I need to find, a "buddy" to talk me through a few things.

Work wise things are getting calmer on some fronts and crazier on others. It's typical of this time of year as the convention business has given way to real tourists, therefore convention audit is quiet...... however all the "inherited" jobs seem to need attention and the projects too so I'm almost as busy as ever. There are quite a lot of staff issues to be cleared up too so I'm just trying to keep everyone calm and assured that they will all get sorted out in time.

Well off to drip somewhere else..........

Here's the scoop!

2006-07-07T19:10:00.000+02:00

I don't hate my job any more!!

I actually woke up during the night and realised this! OK so part of it is not the most stimulating thing in the world, but at least it's interesting sometimes. Maby it's because I'm actually under pressure after having taken on my collegues tasks. I'm actually feeling useful and needed again. Two years of being under stretched mentally was I'm thinking my problem. Too much time to dwell on the fact that I loved my previous job, too much time to regret how I was treated on my return from maternity leave..... basically too much time!

Now I've got barely any time, am constantly answering questions and am attending meetings where stuff gets accomplished. Even my relationship with the boss seems to be better. I could of course be completely deluded and in a week I'll be back to square one, until then I'm just happy to feel relatively good about what I do between 9am and 6pm every day.

On other stuff I really want to get scrapping again. I was knocked out of the goals competition at Scrapitude because I forgot to add vellum in my list of items used on my last layout, that will teach me to be in a hurry all the time!

Anyways I'm ok with it as I've decided to do less challenge, competition type stuff as I was actually being less creative on my own behalf and was not necessarily scrapping for the benefit of the pictures, just whatever would fit the requirements. Back to "scrapping those memories".

The appartment painting looks like it on for this weekend as the weather has broaken a little and the temperature has finally dropped below 30. The paint tins all said that you should not paint above 27°........ should be ok! If I do get it done one of my main objectives is to get access to my scrap supplies more easily. If I accomplish this I am going to be soooooooooo happy!

All quiet!

2006-07-05T19:33:00.000+02:00

Well the "little one" has gone to Scotland!

Friday night was a bit stressful as the flight was delayed but we got there in the end! I had forgotten one of the beautiful things about Scotland. We were on the road well after 1am and it was still quite light. There was the most beautiful "sunset", the sky was a gorgeous shade of azure with tnges of orange. It brought back memories of my childhood when we played outside in the "twilight" until easily 11pm in the summer evenings. I even had to explain to Ross that he still had to go to bed even when the sun was still shining at 9pm the next evening!

I stayed with him for Saturday and Sunday, and flew back on Monday afternoon (no delays this time!). Much as we need some "us" time, I think we are going to really miss having Ross around. For this first couple of days it's a bit of a novelty, but already it's amazing how quiet the house is in the mornings. No kids TV, no arguing over breakfast or rushing madly to get to school and work on time!

We'll see how the next few days go. We should start the painting this weekend, or at least moving the furniture and filling holes etc. I think much is going to depend on the heat.

back to normal.....again!!

2006-06-25T13:59:00.000+02:00

Hubby went back to work this morning, and it's raining!! basically it feels like life is back to normal!

This is going to be a sooooooooo bust week. Ross goes to Scotland on Friday and i've not started packing yet. I need to get the suitcases down from the top of the over bed storage, then try to think about what he'll need. As he's going for 8 weeks in total I figure he'll need the maority of his wardrobe!

I have to admit that I'm really looking forward to my weekend in the UK. Just a bit of shopping and a bit of chat with my mum, but still it's two full days. I know i'll be shattered when i go back to work on Tuesday but that is not going to worry me. When I get back greg and i are going to tackle painting the lounge and the hall & loo. Everything is going back to white so just a couple of coats and a load of washing down the walls should do the trick.

On the scrapping front I've not done much this week other than my challenge layout for Scrapitude. i like what I did even if I do pretty much hate Orange!

Stressful Sunday

2006-06-12T09:15:00.000+02:00

Well it's monday morning and I'm sitting here at home....... NOT at Work where I should be! I'm stressed, worried sick and panicking all in one.

last night Hubby was taken to hospital in an ambumance with a suspected Asthma attack, but he also had chest pains. Just called the hospital (after many attempts!), and he is still undergoing tests.

Needless to say I did'nt sleep at all during the night and Ross was not much better, I could hear him tossing and turning in bed all night. First thing he asked this morning was whether daddy was home, then followed by "he will come home won't he mummy?". I've handled the stress of having Greg in hospital before, but never had to explain this kind of thing to a four year old.

I think it was pretty scary for Ross to see all the ambulance guys, then the SAMU (french first responce doctors), arrive at the house. Then to have daddy taken away in an ambulance with the lights blaring. At first he was excited by it all then the worry and questions started!

Typically today I should have been welcoming a new person to my team at work as well as doing my month end closing! Stuff work for today I'm afraid I need real news of hubby before iIcan concentrate on anything else.

It's at times like this that you realise just how much you love someone and start to wonder how you could ever cope withought them.

What a scorcher!

2006-06-11T15:27:00.000+02:00

Well after weeks of wondering if Summer would ever arrive.... it's here!

Today is the annual attic clearance in our village, kind of like a boot sale withought the cars! Ross and I went out for a walk around at 9am this morning and it was already unbearably hot. Have to admit most of what was on show was rubbish...... but I did find one woman selling old sewing supplies. She had bobbins of Ric Rac, it's pretty old and will need flattening due to how it had been wound, but I'm not complaining. Pink, Blue and white, and there must be easily 20meters of each. What did i pay? equivalent to £1.00 for the lot! And I soooooooo love Ric rac!

Somehow I just can't get in the mood to scrap today. I've laid out card and paper and even photos, just don't seem to know what to do with them. I did a digi for the Scrapitude random challenge and that's it! Kind of enjoyed playing with the digi stuff again, it's been a while and I re-loaded the software (or actually hubby did), a few days ago. i think I may actually need to get back in the habbit.

I've got loads of H-work to do but just can't get in the mood for that either. Ah hell off to tackle something!

Happy Bunny Me

2006-06-09T20:08:00.000+02:00

Firstly I would just like to say a big smoochey THANK YOU MARJA! You make me all warm and fuzzy, just cause you bother to read this rubbish!

Last night we went to paris to the collectors society cocktail for Swarovski, and I finally bought my Birthday Present (oh and a couple of extras!!). I love my new ring and have hardly stopped looking at it today. It even feels ok and i was worried about that. i normally don't like rings which are not perfectly flat between my fingers. I mean I've got podgy fingers and the last thing I need is anything keeping them apart! Well anyways this one feels good as well as looking good.

Ross was the perfect angel and charmed the pants off everyone he met. he was the only kid there but he really is well behaved and polite, so even in the designer boutique he was accepted withought a problem. You can't imagine his face when one of the hostesses arrived with an orange juice for him and offered him canapes, just as if he was an adult! Needless to say Mum & Dad were not drinking orange juice, ours was a little sparklier than that!

Also yesterday i received a parcel of stuff i had bought from jenn in the US (if your read this THANK YOU). So I'm well stocked with pretty papers for a while AND I exchanged a wrong cartridge for my Xyron for a pack of 50 sheets of assorted textured card stock!! How cool was that, even French companies are producing their own Scrapping stock.. no more wishing I could get Bazzil for decent prices, as this was half the price and easily the same thickness and similar texture!

Well that's it I'm all happy and about to go out and enjoy the evening sunshine..... Yup even Summer seems to have arrived at last!

Geezzzzzzzzzz where does the time go?

2006-06-06T17:47:00.000+02:00

It's literally been months since I've updated this thing!! Not like anyone reads it anyways, but still I was going to make an effort right??

It's bleen a bloody mad few weeks/months and not getting any simpler either. For some reason my head seems to be permanantly in a spin. Between home, work, family, friends.... gernerally life stuff, it's all just a mess!

Finances suck, work is mega stress and going to get worse as a collegue is going on pregnancy leave and I'm "covering" her position as well as my own while she's gone. Home life is complicated, and to top it all off Summer does not want to arrive!!!!! What the hell is going on?

I'm over weight, under tall and seriously thinking that I'm out of control. No matter what good intentions I have for "eating right" and ekkkkk Dieting..... I just eat what I want and say to heck with my rounded figure..... that is until yesterday when I saw a shadow of myself on the pavement and could not distinguish the different parts of my body... I mean it was all just one big shadow blob. OK so I know I'm fat, I know why I'm fat .... I just so don't have the willpower to do anything about it! That mid morning chocolate bar calls me merciloiusly from the snack machine, and that bag of chips leaps of the shop shelf to land directly in my basket, it's soooooooooo not my fault!

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, no-one, nowhere............ somewhere in the vast void of cyber space..........

Too Long!

2006-03-13T20:25:00.000+01:00

Well it's been too long since I updated this again.

No real reason other than that life got in the way and I seems to permanantly doing "other stuff". Nothing particularily interesting just "other", not here, not there, just other! Work is ok but no more, home is OK but well nothing special and basically I'm just treading water. It's like I've no real direction or need to do anything in a hurry.

I've got tons of stuff which "SHOULD" be getting done, but I'm never in the mood to do any of it, especially if its adminastrative!

I have however managed to do some scrapping which has been good. I actually like a few of my recent LOs, which in itself is a bit of a miracle at the moment. I just finished one Yesterday for a competition/challenge thingy on Scrapitudes, and I have to say I love it. Not sure anyone else will but in the end after the contest I'm the one who has to put it in an album and be happy with it, so it's what I like for me! I think I'm a lot happier now I'm no longer on the UKS team. I'm able to go on the PC without feeling obliged to log in anywere, also I can do stuff at my pace for me and not have to think about uploading all I do. Even for Scrapitudes I only upload when i feel like it, I reccon I've probably only uploaded about half of what I've done recently.

Well I had better get off the PC again and go ant try to do some of the boring stuff!! It's not gonna dissapear if I continue to avoid it!

A day all my own.... well almost.

2006-02-24T16:40:00.000+01:00

Today I was all alone at home, well until 3pm! What a change.

Hubby was doing the tourist thing in Paris with one of his relatives adn their kids and since I did'nt fancy it I stayed home. it was great as i got loads of the readed housework done PLUS some scrapping!! I finally finished my first christmas LO from this year. We did'nt take many photos this year and even the ones we took were not really classical christmas stuff, so my scrapping has not got the typical christmas colours etc!!

I also got a Circle journal entry done so am quite proud of how productive my morning has been.
The only downside today has been that my new hoover has still not arrived. So after much hanging on the line I finally got told........ yup it's out of stock!! Apparently I was sent a letter on the 14th, well I can honestly say i never received it, so no new hoover until 8/9th March....agggggghhhhh.

It was Ross' Birthday yesterday so there was a lot going on. he had to take a cake to school and looked so funny yesterday morning as he insisted in carrying it!! It had one of those transparent windows in he top and he was worried that the snow which was falling would fall on the winnie on the cake! in the evening we went out for a meal at the local chinese with Hubbys Cousin and his family. Their kids are all teenagers and I have to say Ross at 4 behaved better and had better table manners than one of the teenage boys, oh and made less mess of both the table and his face! I just can't get over how grabby and ill disiplined the boy was, if he had been mine he would never have been allowed over the door until he could sit up and eat correctly in a restuarant.

Tomorrow we are all off to Paris with the godparents. It should be a lot of fun and we have not told Ross what we are going to be doing, he's in for a big surprise!! i really hope the snow which is foreast does not happen.

Me Back Hurts!! I need to stop sitting in an office!

2006-02-20T18:50:00.000+01:00

Typical! First day back at work and my Back is killing me. I'm convinced it's because I've been so active this past week and sitting at my desk all day is not good for me!! That or wearing heels!!

Father and Son are off for a swimming lesson tonight so I've got the dinner to do for when they get home. Not even sure yet what I have in the freezer but I'll need to find something. I can't beleive my little monster will be 4 on Thursday, the time is going so fast and now I understand why my parents say that they don't remember much of my growing up. It really seems if you blink you miss something.

He went off to School like a little angel this morning and was so excited about going swimming again tonight. How I hope this enthusiasm stays.

It seems that things have been pretty quiet during my absence, even my E-Mail had not exploded, that has got to be a first! Of course as always you come back from a week away and everything needs to be done today (if not yesterday), but thats just normal practice. Shrug it off and get on with the grind is my philosophy! My team is stull under staffed and no help on the horizon so what's the point of worrying about it.

Well off to get moving with things. Hopefully I'll be more co-ordinated and coherent tomorrow!!

Strange Day

2006-02-19T14:39:00.000+01:00

Well vacation week is over and in the past week I've made some huge decisions relating to my scrapping, my home and my family!!

Starting with Home, Greg and I have begun in earnest to de-clutter our appartment in preporation for a move sometime this year.

Family wise I need to spend more quality time with both my Huband and my Son. We spent lots of time together this week and it shows in the development of Ross' speech and his behaviour. Not only is it good for him but it's been great for me and Greg too. We NEED this more often. family time is sooooooo important and I was not giving myself enought of it.

Scrapping wise..... well I've decided to leave the team I am a member of on UKS. I've had a great few months on the team and have enjoyed getting to know the girls. Today jane announced that she was going and that spurred me to post that I was going too. I don't know how many times I started writing a mail to the team and never completed it, but well today it was just made easier by Janes announcement. I was not able recently to keep up with the chat and was not scrapping much either, so all in all was worried that I was not contributing as much as expected. I'm sure noone would have said anything about my lack of points etc, but anyway I was feeling bad about it so that was enough. From now on I scrap for me, when I want to and What I want to. Challenges etc are great if they really interest you, but recently I've not been able to scrap just for the points, it's got to be something I really want to do.

Talking of things I wanted to do I finished a DLO this week which I really like. It is some of my fav pickies of the mo, of Ross playing in Paris.
Between the two LOs I managed to use the complete sheet of spotted paper!! That in itself has got to be a first!! I also decided to use some stickers i bought a while ago. I figure as Ross is french, why not have some text in french once in a while!!

Yeh Vacation at Last!!

2006-02-11T10:08:00.000+01:00

Finally. I honestly thought this week would never end!! It's been madness at work and is only likely to get worse over the next few weeks, i think I really need this week off just to try to forget the place a bit!!

If I go anywhere near Disney it's going to be to take Ross to the Park for a bit of fun. In a way it's hard to work for such a company. You get really fed up with all the politics and the hassles, yet you still feel attatched in an emotional way. I beleive totally in Disney, just sometimes the actual job drives me nutty.

Plans for the vacation include a visit to the swimming pool (possibly more than one), a visit to the air and space museum (Ross will go nuts!!), a shopping visit to paris.... other stuff not planned yet. Basically we will wake up and decide what to do day by day, all depends on the weather!!

Well I'm sitting here not even dressed yet (yup the vacation laziness has set in!!), so off to get ready.

Another Maninc Monday............

2006-02-06T20:11:00.000+01:00

Well Monday arrived and yet again I don't know where the day went!! I'm sitting here in the quiet trying to get my thoughts straight after another madly hectic day in the office. Sometimes it seems that you just arrive and all your team is leaving again.

My team is one person short and no hope of getting a replacement anytime soon.... so of course the workload just keeps piling up. I've managed to scrounge a bit of help from other teams but it's an hour here and there, which honestly does not allow my team to really benefit. Also unless a person is completely trained on the differen stystems and stuff, they can only help with the photocopies etc.

Well today was the first day of "Ross & Daddy" week! I'm desporate to get the full account of what happened!!! Guess they had more fun than e anyway.

Wild Weekend

2006-02-04T19:04:00.000+01:00

Well Saturday arrived and seems to have dissapeared just as quickly!!

We had a nice lie in this morning, but the everything seemed to go into fast forward! We went to do some shopping for new shoes and some clothes for Ross. He seems to grow so quickly sometimes, yet on his height chart he's still exactly the same height..... maby I need to stop using the tumble drier all the time.

It's amazing how fast time goes when you are hooked to a TV programme! While Ross was napping , greg and I settled down to watch an episode of Angel, than another, then another...well needless to say we were just begining the fourth when Ross Woke up!! So much for getting stuff done during the "quiet time". now greg has gone to do a quick shopping and I've got my scrap stuff out.... well out but nothing done as I've been on the PC for half an hour again.

Oh well Sunday is me and Ross day normally, but Greg is on vacation for the next two weeks so my normal routine is shot!!

Confusion and Reality

2006-02-02T19:26:00.000+01:00

Somewhere between my utter confusion and the reality of my life I should be able to find a middle ground.... Right??

Sometimes I wonder if I really am living on the same planet as all the folks I work with! I jsut spent today doing meetings about new systems and wondering where all these brilliant but completely un workable ideas come from, oh and why the people on all these project teams are always the same ones?? If several projects which they have been involved with fail... should they really be allowed to start new ones????

OK so that over let's get to the confusion.... How can my brain tell me to do one thing and my body does the opposite?? Like this morning my brain was literally screaming GET OUT OF BED, my body just lay there ignoring the radio alarm.

Reality hits big time... that would be when my body catches up with the brain goin Sh-t, I've got a presentation to go to and need a suit and "professional" appearance, arther than jsut showe on "whatever"!! Agggggggg sometimes I hate working!

On a more fun note I did finally take photos of my Silk Scarf which I painted. I've not done any "real" painting since before Ross was born as it's not very practical with a toddler around, but I figured he's almost four now so can understand the "dont touch" thing. The scarf is a very fine silk (poingnee 9 for anyone who knows about this stuff). So the things behing the skarf are showing through on the photo. The colours are very vibrant in real life as there is a nice sheen to the fabric which does not show up on the photos. The outlines on this scarf were pre-printed so all I had to do was "colour in", I chose to change the colours a lot from the example on the package as I hated their choices!! Don't think I would have chosen this design for myself but hubby bought it for me, and he is usually spot on, so he gets some leeway. Also our usual supplier has stopped carrying all the stock, so coices were limited. Next time I will do one freehand.

The first entry in my new blog.

2006-01-30T20:54:00.000+01:00

Well here I go again.

I've been wanting to start a blog again for a few weeks now, but have never had a) the time, b) the patience and c) the peace and quiet!!

I'm not supposed to even be at home today but my Sons (Ross) teacher called sick today so no choice but stay home with him, the joys of being a mother! So take advantage and do something for me!!

Not that I should'nt use the time more constructively, do housework, go shopping, do the washing, pay the bills, go to the post office........ Yeh Right, extra time at home is ME TIME!! I swear it's something thats becoming a rarity these days; between Ross and Greg (my Hubby), I get a lot less me time than I used to..

On a more positive front I completed a scrapbooking LO yesterday which I really like (see above). I've decided to go back to simple scrapping which is more in line with my likes. No more trying to "follow trends" which I actually don't particularily like. There is a lot out there which suits others but which is totally wrong for me and my photos! I've come to the conclusion that what I like is what I should do. What everyone else thinks is their problem. I've tried a lot of different stuff recently but can honestly say that some of the results have not pleased me in the least, so same photos will undoubtedle be re-scrapped in the simpler style. As for the trends, well those who want to use them or are determinned to see their work published can go for it, I'll be happy to be left behind until something I really like comes along.

Sad news

2006-01-30T16:15:00.000+01:00

I just received the news that my Mums Aunt has died this morning. To most an aunt of one of their parents would not seem much in the way of a close relation but to me Auntie Janet was a very special lady. her husband, uncle Franck was very special to me as he shared my birthday and later when I got married we shared a wedding anniversary! Both dates were comeplete accident. i was born over a month early so should have been born in June not May, so we had a close relationship just based on that shared birthday, but when we chose to get married on the 18th of September then found out it was janet and francks anniversary, well the coinstances could not be any bigger.

Well I started writing this last night and found I had to stop!! It's so weird how you start writing and all these memories just pop up out of nowhere.

After having to take yesterday off work i got in today to find that my boss has been persuaded by one of my collegues to do a "dry run" of moving one of our more useless employees to my vacant team spot....... I mean I need someone with a bit of good sence and a minimum of training..... BUT, well my nameless collegue has been looking for a way to transfer this particular person for a while, and my current staff shortage has given him the perfect opportunity to convince the boss that this is a "logical next step" for the employee!! in other words move him from his team to mine, equals move the problem to someone else. THANKS MATE!!

Thank goodness for home shopping delivery. My delivery arrived tonight and saved me a maddening trip around the supermarket. We used to do a supermarket shopping then have it delivered, but thankfully france is finally catching on to internet shoping. Don't know if i could cope with going back to doing "real" grocery shoping. Not only is it easier and saves on the getting mad at the crouds, but it also saves me a fortune, I don't tend to do the impulse shopping and it's also allowing us to spend our Saturdays in a much more interesting way.

Well a bit of a hodge podge of thoughts jumbling in my haed so apologies to anyone reading who is now thinking... and just where is she going with all of this.... short answer is nowhere in particular!!